Mister Guru

In learning English, we often have difficulty using or determining the correct words or phrases. It is easy to confuse words that have similar meanings, similar spellings, or similar sounds. However, these words CANNOT be interchanged.

Here, you will learn similar words or phrases in the English language that you should anticipate, especially when you want to take the TOEFL or TOEIC tests.

Accept	Accede	Except	Expect
Advise	Advice	Advisory	Advisable
Affect	Effect	Affection	Effective
Beside	Besides	Between	Among
Borrow	Lend	Loan	Lease
Bring	Take	Carry	Fetch
Cloth	Clothes	Clothing	Clothe
Come	Go	Leave	Leave for
Continuous	Continual	Continously	Continually
Develop	Expand	Elaborate	Enhance
Equal	Same	Similar	Match
Fairly	Enough	Very	Too
Ground	Soil	Earth	Floor
Grow	Grow up	Improve	Increase
Lay	Lie	Sleep	Asleep
Lose	Loose	Lost	Loss
Money	Cash	Currency	Fund
Obtain	Earn	Win	Achieve
Pass	Past	Path	Passage
Personnel	Personal	Personally	Personality
Pretty	Beautiful	Handsome	Good-looking
Raise	Rise	Elevate	Ascend
Remember	Remind	Recollect	Memory
Say	Tell	Speak	Talk
Travel	Commute	Go	Journey
Wear	Use	Be Used to	Used to

uatu pagi, saat iseng mendengarkan MP3 Indonesia Raya 3 Stanza, saya merasa tertarik saat mengetahui lagu kebangsaan kita ini ternyata memiliki versi lain yaitu 3 stanza yang lebih lengkap. Selain Stanza 1 seperti yang kita kenal sekarang, masih ada dua (2) Stanza lagi. Berikut ini Lirik modern Indonesia Raya hasil Google Search dari http://id.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesia_Raya



Kita bisa melihat bahwa Stanza pertama bernafaskan persatuan, stanza kedua bernafaskan rasa syukur kepada Tuhan YME dan ketiga janji untuk menjaga Indonesia tetap abadi. Menurut saya pribadi, Stanza 2 dan 3 memiliki makna yang lebih menekankan pada pembangunan akhlak dan budi pekerti, serta jauh lebih menyentuh daripada Stanza 1 yang selalu kita nyanyikan selama ini. Ada beberapa potong kalimat atau bait yang menurut saya teramat sayang untuk dilupakan begitu saja. Misal, pada Stanza 2.
Bait ini mengingatkan kita bahwa negara kita adalah negara yang kaya. Adalah suatu ironi jika sampai sekarang sebagian besar rakyat kita masih hidup di bawah garis kemiskinan, dan sebagian lagi harus mengais rejeki hingga ke negri orang. Saya bertanya-tanya, jika selalu kita nyanyikan sampai sekarang, mampukah bait tersebut menggugah semangat kita untuk berjuang dengan lebih keras demi menghapus kemiskinan di negeri kita yang tercinta ini, tanpa harus lari ke negeri orang hanya untuk mencari sesuap nasi?

Masih di Stanza 2:
Bait ini mengingatkan kita bahwa tanah-air kita adalah pusaka bagi seluruh rakyat Indonesia, bukan milik sebagian kalangan tertentu saja. Kekayaan alam harus diolah sebagai "pusaka" bagi seluruh rakyat, bukan untuk dimanipulasi para pejabat demi kantong dan perut sendiri. Bait ini juga mengingatkan kita sebagai umat beragama untuk selalu berdoa kepada Allah SWT. Lagi-lagi saya bertanya-tanya dan berandai-andai. Andai selalu kita nyanyikan, mungkinkah bait di atas menyadarkan para pejabat kita agar bersikap amanah dalam mengelola kekayaan negara demi kesejahteraan rakyat? Di satu sisi, rakyat sebagai umat beragama juga menjadi lebih santun dan arif ketika menghadapi suatu masalah dan menghindari cara-cara anarki seperti yang selama ini sering kita lihat dalam berbagai unjuk rasa.

Resapi juga lirik bait ketiga:
Lirik di atas sangat pas dengan kondisi bangsa kita selama ini. Meski akhir-akhir ini pengintegrasian budi pekerti dalam kurikulum pembelajaran di sekolah semakin berkembang, betapa seringnya kita meninggalkan budi-pekerti dari perilaku kehidupan sehari-hari? Saya jadi teringat betapa banyak kasus, mulai dari kejahatan perbankan tingkat tinggi, perpajakan, hingga pungli di terminal dan jalanan yang sebenarnya berawal dari hilangnya kesadaran diri sebagai mahluk Allah SWT, serta semakin punahnya budi pekerti dalam perilaku keseharian kita. Kenyamanan dan kemewahan hingga tuntutan kehidupan modern rupanya telah benar-benar membutakan kita, sehingga kita lupa ke mana kita akan berpulang nanti. Dan ... lagi-lagi saya berandai-andai, andai kita selalu menyanyikan bait di atas, mampukah sepotong bait itu menggugah kesadaran kita sebagai manusia beragama yang selalu mengedepankan etika dan budi pekerti dalam berperilaku?

Bait ketiga dalam Stanza 3:
Kalimat tersebut adalah doa tulus yang terpanjat demi keselamatan rakyat Indonesia, pulau-pulau serta laut dan kekayaan alam Indonesia dari segala ancaman dan marabahaya. Betapa banyak bencana, mulai dari lumpur Lapindo hingga banjir bandang yang berawal dari kelalaian dan keserakahan kita dalam mengelola sumber daya alam? Ratusan hektar hutan telah habis digunduli oleh para mafia kayu, yang tingkat kerakusannya jauh melebihi binatang bernama rayap yang paling rakus sekalipun. Ratusan rumah juga telah tenggelam di dasar danau lumpur yang berawal dari kelalaian pengelola bisnis yang ingin menekan biaya instalasi tanpa memikirkan dampak bagi lingkungan sekitar. Juga karena kelalaian kita, pulau Sipadan dan Ligitan terlepas dari pangkuan ibu pertiwi. Dan sekali lagi dan lagi ... saya berandai-andai, andai saja kita selalu menyanyikan Stanza 3, akan "lebih" selamatkah rakyat dan negara kita?

Dalam teori motivasi, kita mengenal adanya The Power of Repetition, yaitu sesuatu hal yang diucapkan berulang-ulang sebagai affirmatif atau penguatan bagi dirinya dan diharapkan menjadi drive untuk mencapai suatu sasaran, seperti yang dilakukan perusahaan-perusahaan di Jepang pada umumnya untuk meningkatkan kinerja. Bukankah lagu kebangsaan Indonesia Raya yang kita nyanyikan berulang-ulang hampir di setiap upacara seharusnya bisa menjadi pendorong untuk memperbaiki akhlak dan budi pekerti bangsa kita?

If you are a junior high school student (SMP/MTs) and you wish to test your English skill, here's a piece of interesting information.

To celebrate the Indonesian Living-Environment day and the 1-million Trees Movement which falls on January 10th, SMK Negeri 1 Probolinggo is planning to hold an English speech contest on January 26th and English olympiad on January 28th, 2011. The Adi-Wiyata award-winning school expects that these events will be attended by junior-high-school students in Probolinggo, Pasuruan, and Lumajang areas.

If you are interested in joining these events, here is some more information.

I. ENGLISH SPEECH CONTEST
Speech Contest is an individual competition in which every participant is required to deliver a speech in a convincing way to impress the Judges. The expected outcome of this competition is to improve participants’ self-confidence, in addition to develop their public-speaking skills and their ability in performing in English.

1. Participants are registered SMP/MTs students.
2. Registration can be done at the receptionist desk latest by 1:00 pm January 25th 2011.
3. Registration fee is Rp.25,000.-, or Rp.35,000.- for both events.
4. Participants are to submit 1 pc of the latest passport-sized photograph (3x4 cm) together with a copy of student's card/ID.
5. Speech topics, which all will relate to environmental issues, will be decided by the committee.
6. Participants will be quarantined and given a period of 1 hour for case building prior to delivering their speech.
7. Speech should take not more than 10 (ten) minutes.
8. Participants may not read any texts during speech, except a key note which addresses important points.
9. Scoring will be based on 3 (three) aspects; Accuracy (relevance and weight of content), Fluency (in speaking), and Performance (body language and attitude).
10. Winners will be decided by the total score of all aspects.
11. Juries' decisions are final and irrevocable.

II. ENGLISH OLYMPIAD
English olympiad is an individual competition in which every participant is required to do a proficiency test of English. The outcome of this competition is to improve participants’ knowledge, in addition to develop their experience and their English skills.

1. Participants are registered SMP/MTs students.
2. Registration can be done at the receptionist desk latest by 1:00 pm January 25th 2011.
3. Registration fee is Rp.25,000.-, or Rp.35,000.- for both events.
4. Participants are to submit 1 pc of the latest passport-sized photograph (3x4 cm) together with a copy of student's card/ID.
5. Test items will be based on SMP’s Curriculum and focused on environmental issues.
6. Participants will be given 120 minutes to do a 75-item test.
7. Participants must prepare a pencil and an eraser.
8. Participants may not bring dictionaries, mobile phones, calculators, and/or books into the test room.
9. Participants may not cooperate with other participants during the test.
10. Participants must wear school uniform.
11. Participants who fail to comply with the rules will be disqualified.

Scoring criteria:

• Correct answers will score 2 (two) points.
• -1 (minus one) score penalty will be applied to wrong answers.
• Unanswered question(s) will score 0 (zero).

If you wish to join both or one of the above events, feel free to contact the committee at 0335-421121.
Contact person: Prastowo Ismanto.

What is an idiom (ideeum)? An idiom is an expression, word, or phrase whose sense means something different from what the words literally imply. Idioms usually do not translate well. In some cases, when an idiom is translated into another language, either its meaning is changed or it is meaningless. On this post, we are going to learn common idioms using "ALL", including their closest meaning(s) in Bahasa Indonesia.
Happy learning.

IDIOMS	MEANING	INDONESIAN	EXAMPLE
All-nighter	Work or study all night	Bekerja/belajar semalam-suntuk	Pulling an all-nighter before exams is not a good habit.
All over	Very fond (of something)	Sangat menyukai sesuatu	She's all over the latest fashions.
All shook up	Extremely excited, worried, or disturbed about something	Sangat senang, khawatir, atau terganggu oleh sesuatu	She's all shook up about her mother's illness.
All that and then some	More than what has been mentioned	Lebih dari yang sudah dikatakan	He did all that and then some to get the new job.
Go all the way	Do something completely	Mengerjakan dengan sepenuhnya	They went all the way for the championship.
Dash it all!	Expression used when very upset	Ungkapan yang dipakai saat merasa sangat kecewa	Dash it all! I didn't do well in the test.
For all I know	Based on what I know (mostly implying displeasure)	Setahu saya (umumnya untuk mengisyaratkan kekecewaan	For all I know, the government will increase the fuel price this month.
Free for all	Crazy, free, non-restricted activity (generally a fight)	Gila, Bebas (biasanya untuk pertarungan	It was a free for all! Everyone went crazy!
Have it all together	Be very poised, successful	Sangat mapan, sukses	He has it all together. The house, the wife, the kids, the great job - everything!
Hold all the aces	Have all the advantages	Unggul, memiliki keuntungan atau kendali	Unfortunately, Rita holds all the aces right now. We'll have to do what she says.
Know all the angles	Be very clever about something	Sangat pandai dalam suatu hal	He knew all the angles and answered our questions satisfactorily.
Not all there	Not intelligent, not completely focused on an activity	Kurang cerdas, tidak benar-benar fokus pada sesuatu	The student was not all there. He couldn't answer my questions.
Of all the nerve!	Expression of anger at someone's behavior	Ungkapan kemarahan atas perilaku seseorang	Of all the nerve! Did you see how she treated me?
Once and for all	Finally (usually putting an end to something)	Akhirnya (dipakai untuk mengakhiri sesuatu	We need to stop this conflict once and for all!
Pull out all the stops	Make every possible effort	melakukan segala upaya	I pulled out all the stops on the test.
Can't win them all.	Expression of acceptance after a loss or disappointment	Ungkapan setelah mengalami kekecewaan atau kekalahan	You did your best in the match and I'm proud of you. You can't win them all.

Suatu pagi dalam sebuah upacara bendera di sekolah, saat pengibaran bendera Merah Putih sedang berlangsung dan hampir seluruh peserta upacara memberikan hormat kepada bendera nasional kita, banyak di antara siswa, baik putra maupun putri, tampak bergurau dan tertawa cekikikan, seolah sang Dwi Warna tidak memiliki arti apa-apa.

Ketika hal itu saya utarakan kepada seorang teman yang juga guru dari daerah dan sekolah lain, jawaban yang saya terima justru lebih mengejutkan. Dia berkata, "Di tempat saya, jangankan murid, gurunya pun asyik bergurau dan ngobrol saat penghormatan bendera berlangsung." Menyedihkan bukan?

Hal ini cukup jauh berbeda jika dibandingkan dengan masa ketika saya masih duduk di bangku sekolah. Setiap kali bendera Merah Putih sedang dikibarkan dalam upacara bendera, bisa dikatakan seluruh peserta termasuk murid-murid yang bisa dibilang bandel sekalipun segera memberikan penghormatan dengan khidmat. Bahkan seorang teman pernah berkata bahwa dia selalu merasa sedih setiap hening cipta karena dia selalu teringat wajah seorang pahlawan yang gugur dalam perang kemerdekaan yang pernah dilihatnya dalam film dokumenter di TV.

Itu dulu. Sekarang? Kalimat "Untuk mengenang jasa para pahlawan yang telah gugur demi kemerdekaan Indonesia, ...." bagi telinga kita tak ubahnya bagai suatu kalimat klise sebagai bagian dari rutinitas wajib yang tak bermakna. Mari kita ingat lagi, apakah yang sedang kita pikirkan saat kita menundukkan kepala dan mengheningkan cipta? Apakah kita benar-benar merenungkan betapa besar pengorbanan dan jasa para pahlawan bangsa demi kemerdekaan dan kedaulatan negara? Apakah kita pernah memikirkan betapa beruntungnya kita yang terlahir dan hidup di alam merdeka tanpa harus berjuang mengangkat senjata dan mempertaruhkan nyawa di antara desingan bom dan peluru?

Saya pernah merasa kecewa sekaligus sedih ketika dalam sebuah curah pendapat di Facebook, seorang mahasiswa yang aktif dalam sebuah organisasi agama melontarkan pemikiran yang secara tidak langsung menafikan keberadaan negara dan pemerintahan Indonesia. Secara singkat, saya bisa meraba bahwa baginya tidak ada nasionalisme dalam agama.

Pada umumnya, kehidupan bermasyarakat dan bernegara di era modern seperti sekarang memang bisa dikatakan sudah jauh dari semangat kebersamaan dan nasionalisme yang dulu pernah menjadi motor penggerak perjuangan para pahlawan kita. Konsep wawasan kebangsaan semakin pudar dan tenggelam dalam hiruk pikuk era globalisasi.

Jangan merasa kaget ketika dalam sebuah reality show TV swasta, seorang artis penyanyi bertubuh montok dan sexy tidak bisa lagi menyanyikan lagu-lagu nasional yang dulu pernah dihapalnya di bangku SD. Jangan pula merasa heran kenapa anak-anak SD jaman sekarang tidak lagi bisa menyanyikan lagu-lagu nasional kita. Mereka lebih fasih menyanyikan lagu-lagu pop ketimbang lagu-lagu perjuangan yang memupuk semangat nasionalisme. Jangan salahkan anak-anak kita jika mereka lebih menyukai film Ipin-Upin buatan Malaysia daripada sinetron-sinetron anak Indonesia yang hanya menyajikan kekuatan-kekuatan aneh, mahluk-mahluk konyol, serta pembodohan dan hal-hal tak masuk akal lainnya.

Mengapa film-film yang mendidik seperti si Unyil atau Jalan Sesama masih sangat sedikit dibanding film-film anak tak bermutu? Karena memang kebanyakan produser film dan lagu hanya memikirkan segi keuntungan daripada nilai-nilai moral dan nasionalisme yang harus disampaikan kepada anak-anak. Sebagai hasilnya, anak anak kita tumbuh menjadi generasi Naruto, generasi 1 Piece, generasi Sponge Bob, atau generasi Ipin-Upin yang hampir tidak lagi mengenal identitasnya sebagai anak Indonesia.

Saat menonton berita di TV, wajah "terkini" nasionalisme bangsa kita akan semakin jelas tergambar di depan mata. Jangan bertanya arti nasionalisme kepada sosok semacam GT yang tanpa rasa bersalah tega mengemplang pajak yang terkumpul dari hasil jerih-payah rakyat. Jangan juga bertanya apa arti solidaritas sosial kepada para anggota dewan yang dengan enaknya berlenggang-kangkung mengadakan kunjungan ke sana-sini di saat banyak rakyat miskin yang babak-belur dihajar oleh si Eko (baca: ekonomi). Jangan juga bertanya tentang kepentingan rakyat kepada mereka karena di saat rapat, mereka ternyata lebih memilih tidur atau bolos, bahkan nonton film porno secara sembunyi-sembunyi daripada memikirkan nasib rakyat yang dulu dirangkulnya erat-erat saat kampanye legislatif.

Juga tidak perlu heran jika anda melihat para pembesar parpol yang tidak kebagian "kursi" ramai-ramai mengkritik pemerintah yang dianggapnya tidak becus, seolah mereka lupa bahwa ketika masih duduk di "kursi"nya yang empuk, mereka adalah bagian dari "ketidak-becusan" itu. Jika anda pindah saluran TV, janganlah kaget jika anda melihat mahasiswa fakultas A tawuran dengan mahasiswa fakultas B tanpa alasan yang jelas dan masuk akal, tak ubahnya murid-murid SD di jaman saya sekolah dulu. Jangan lagi kaget jika berita selanjutnya adalah tentang sekelompok pemuda kampung X yang tawuran dengan kelompok pemuda kampung Y hanya gara-gara bersenggolan saat berjoget dalam suatu konser dangdut, seolah mereka lupa bahwa dulu para pemuda dari Sabang sampai Merauke pernah berikrar bahwa mereka adalah SATU BANGSA dan SATU TANAH AIR.  Janganlah heran jika kelak, generasi mendatang akan menginjak-injak sang Merah Putih demi terpuaskannya gaya hidup atau terwujudnya faham yang mereka anggap benar.

Saya benar-benar tidak bisa membayangkan perasaan para pejuang kemerdekaan (jika masih hidup) yang telah rela meletakkan nyawanya diujung senjata dan berkorban demi sang Merah Putih. Kita seolah tidak lagi mampu menghargai pengorbanan mereka. Bahkan mungkin kita telah lupa bahwa mereka pernah ada, pernah hidup di suatu masa, lalu gugur demi kemerdekaan yang ternyata tidak mampu kita maknai dengan baik.

Ya Allah, ampunilah kami atas ketidak-mampuan kami dalam menghargai dan membalas jasa para pahlawan kami.

Aries - The Liar (March 21 – April 20)

Keywords: Daring, Risk-taker, Energetic, Friendly, Careless, Impulsive, Childish.

Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac and associated with fresh vigor and new beginnings. It is said to have an enthusiastic, adventurous, aggressive, humorous, passionate, and pioneering character but one which is also prone to selfishness, boastfulness, intolerance, impulsiveness, and impatience. Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. Extremely adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud.

Do this exercise and test your vocabulary power.

Do this exercise and test your vocabulary power. The words and phrases on the left can be found in the story "The Spell of Longing - An Elegy for Rose (republished)". Match those words or phrases on the left to the correct definition or meaning on the right.

NOTE:

Word/Phrase

Definition

Nodded, nod (verb) Forcing, force (verb) Digest (verb) Instead (adverb) Distraction (noun) Isolate (verb) Distance (noun) Fondness (noun) In common (adverb) Avoid (verb) Skip (verb) Sparkling (adjective) Blessed (adjective) Pretended, pretend (verb) Get over (verb) Chance (noun) Weeping, weep (verb) Shape (noun) Sighed, sigh (verb) Stabbed, stab (verb) Shelter (noun) Bitter (adjective) Comfort (verb) Wounded, wound (verb) Tight (adverb)

Shining with brilliant points of light like stars. A possibility; A risk involving danger. The visual appearance of something or someone. The property created by the space between two objects or points In place of, or as an alternative to; On the contrary. Intentionally fail to attend; Bypass. Having or sharing equally with another or others. Stay clear from; Prevent the occurrence of. Give moral or emotional strength to; Lessen pain; Alleviate. Forget; To overcome; To deal with successfully. Make believe with the intent to deceive. Inflict an injury; Hurt. A structure that provides privacy and protection; The condition of being protected. Mental turmoil; An obstacle to attention. Set apart from others. Firmly or closely . Breathe deeply and heavily. Expressive of severe grief or regret. Lower and raise the head, as to indicate assent or agreement or confirmation. Arrange and integrate in the mind. Cry; Shed tears because of sadness, rage, or pain. A predisposition to like something. Urge (a person) to an action; Constrain or motivate. Highly favored or fortunate (as e.g. by divine grace) Poke or thrust abruptly.

t still feels like yesterday when I first saw you. You were late on your first day in campus! The class was having a lecture when you came. You stood there at the classroom door, smiled and nodded to the lecturer, asking for her permission to join in. The whole French class seemed to be hypnotized by your beautiful smile and so did I. At the right back corner of the classroom, I watched as you walked in and sat down next to Eva, right in front of my seat!

Although the lecturer continued with her lesson, I just could not focus anymore. Sitting alone behind you, I was forcing myself to listen to and digest the lecturer’s explanation, instead of thinking about you. I agreed with most boys in the class at that time. You were a complete distraction!

From then on, you would start asking questions about English lessons to me, and I was always more than willing to explain anything to you. After some time, you moved over and sat next to me. Discussing lectures or common things, we would seem to isolate ourselves from the rest of the class.

Days passed, filled with togetherness. You would patiently accompany me to read in the library, or just to sit in the classroom waiting for the next lecturer to come. There was absolutely no day in campus that I didn’t spend with you. Even when the lecture was over, we used to spend some more time together to do our assignments or just to chat and listen to some music in my boarding house which was within a walking distance from the campus.

However, I didn’t want to misinterpret our closeness as anything more than friendship. I just told myself that it was due to our fondness of reading, soft music, and English. We did have much in common. We could discuss those things for hours without getting bored. What I liked most from being together with you was that you never tried to change me. You seemed to enjoy being with me as myself, not as anyone else. You could move me without having to touch me, and change me without having to teach me.

As time went by, there was absolutely too much for me to avoid a strange feeling for you to grow in my heart, a feeling that I had never felt before. The more often we got together, the stronger that feeling grew. Yet, for the sake of our friendship, it was never said and I decided to remain as a friend to you.

It was 5.30 pm. The class was free and noisy as the lecturer hadn’t come. At our desk, you told me, “Anto, the next lecture is French, right? What a bore! I want to skip it. Let’s go out for some fresh air.”

I had never expected you to give this kind of invitation. Hesitatingly, I asked, “Where to, Rose?”

“Anywhere. Just go with me and leave the class,” you answered.

I was still in doubt. “I won’t go unless we know where to go. Tell me.”

“How can I tell you? I myself don’t know where to go. Just go out with me and we can decide later on the way. I just want to have something to eat and spend this nice evening outside, rather than sit the evening away here to hear a boring lecture from a bored lecturer,” you replied with your sparkling beautiful eyes looking straight at me, begging me to agree with you.

Ten minutes later, we were riding on your motorcycle along the streets of downtown Malang to go window-shopping at the Plaza, and then uptown to eat at a nice and small Soto restaurant.

While eating, you told me that you actually had a boyfriend who was now studying in Surabaya, and that you would introduce me to him someday. It hurt me deep inside and I wanted to tell you it would not be necessary. Whoever that lucky guy was, he was blessed to have you. But I didn’t want to look silly in front of you. So, I decided to be nice and pretended to be happy with your plan. You also asked me whether I had a girlfriend. I had to tell you that there had been a girl in the past that I had loved very much, until she left without enough reasons for me to understand, and it had taken me long enough to get over her. I made it clear to you that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

That night, I realized that I shouldn’t have hoped much from our relationship. I had to forget all my dreams before they ever had a chance to grow. I would not be prepared to see my dreams fall apart just like what had happened years before. I just didn’t want to take a chance anymore!

One fine morning, you showed up at my boarding house. Your red eyes told me you had been weeping. Sitting next to me and crying, you told me that you had just broken up with your boyfriend. It did hurt to see you in that shape and I really didn’t have much to say. I just couldn’t understand how on earth a man could hurt such a sweet girl as you.

“What can I do for you?” I asked hesitatingly, not knowing what else to do.

You wiped your tears and sighed. “Nothing. Just be as you are now. Don’t change. Be my friend forever. OK?” You said in an uncertain voice. Your sad eyes stabbed mine, searching for a shelter. You smiled then, but it was a bitter smile. It was clear that you were just pretending to be strong.

I nodded, “You could always count on me, Rose. I’ll always be your friend.”

I could not describe how I wanted to comfort you at that time. If you had been a cute and lovely bird, you had surely been wounded. Your wings had broken for some reason, and I had never seen you as helpless as you were at that time. I took your hands softly and held them tight, hoping that I could give you a little strength to carry on.

A year of a beautiful friendship passed. It was drizzling when the lecture was over. The class had planned to throw a small party at Ray’s place that evening.

“Are we going to the party?” Your cheerful voice demanded my decision as we strolled along the lonely street. The rain was not hard enough to get us drenched walking home.

“In this kind of weather? I don’t think so. Besides, there are many assignments to do,” I replied, thinking that I always disliked staying among a crowd.

“You don’t like parties, crowds, and things like that,” you said.

I felt the conversation sounded more personal than usual, so I gave you a puzzled look. You looked back at me. Your beautiful black hair hanging loosely past your shoulder glistened with raindrops under the dim street lights.

“What do you mean?” I asked, pursuing an explanation of your directness.

“You seem different from other boys; reticent, remote and untouched. But I like you that way,” you replied.

You were almost right about that. But you were wrong about my being untouched, because you had actually touched inside me more than you thought you did. However, I decided to say nothing about it, and kept watching our feet stepping slowly on that dark and clammy asphalt.

“I like being together with you, Anto. You’re a nice person to be with,” you added softly.

“I like you, too, Rose,“ I said awkwardly. You didn’t know how I had to force myself to say it.

“Really? What do you like from me?” you asked. I could see your eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Your personality maybe. You are so kind that I always feel comfortable around you,” I answered, trying to figure out why I liked her.

“We have been best friends for more than a year, Anto. I like you and I know much about you. But, I really don’t know what you actually feel for me.” My heart jumped at what you had just said.

I hoped I had not misunderstood you. I looked at you as I wanted to make sure that I was not dreaming. Your beautiful eyes stared back at me, waiting or maybe searching for a reply. Those starry eyes were sparkling.

“What do you hope from me, Anto?” This time you paraphrased the question.

“This is it!” I thought. “If I ever want to let her know my feelings, I should let her know now. Now, or I’ll have to wait until God knows when.” My mind urged me. My heart throbbed, and I suddenly felt difficult to breathe.

“Do I need to say it to you? Couldn’t you see it in my eyes all this time, Rose?” But those questions were never asked, and remained unsaid when your soft voice reminded me that you needed an answer.

“Tell me. I’m waiting”, you said.

“I don’t know what I feel for you. I’m not sure and I don’t really care about it. All that matters to me is that you’re always around and never leave me. That’s all I want to say.” I said in a trembling voice.

“Do you love me?” You asked. This time I felt you were either interrogating or teasing me.

“I don’t know, Rose. But, I know I care for you,” I said, still awkwardly.

“It means you love me,” you concluded, glancing and smiling at me teasingly. What a shy fool I was!

"Maybe. Now it’s your turn to tell me your feelings,” I replied, trying to escape from your further questions. Honestly, I was also relieved because now you knew about what I had always felt for you this far.

“You know it, Anto. I’ve never been as close to anyone as I am to you now, so close that I think you’re a part of me,” you added.

“But, does it seem right, Rose? Still remember our promise to be friends?” I wanted to tease her back.

Your lips formed another beautiful smile before you answered my question.

“Even a fool knows that friends can be lovers. We can be both friends and lovers at the same time, right?”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I had never expected you would say those words to me. I wanted to hear more in order to be sure. “I have to say it that I have many dreams about us, Rose. But, I’m afraid. I just don’t want my dreams to shatter again. You have to understand that.”

You stopped walking and took my hand. You stared right at me and said, “Anto, let’s promise, we will be together and love each other as long as the stars burn in the sky. Promise me that you’ll never leave me.”

“I promise you, Rose. I will always love you,” my eyes pierced back into yours so that you knew that I meant what I had just said.

Then you hugged me. I could smell the sweet scent of your hair when you laid your head on my shoulder. I put my arms around you and held you tight, so that you knew I would never let you go. I didn’t want to lose you, Rose.

“I love you, Anto. You’ve always given me strength. I’d be a fool to leave you,” you whispered softly. From your voice, I could tell that you were crying.

I couldn’t describe how I felt at that moment. It was the happiness and comfort that I had been dreaming of for so long. It was too good to be true. I looked up to the sky, and I felt like flying among thousands of raindrops, leaving the dark clouds beneath us, into a new horizon of tomorrow which was painted with dreams and hopes of togetherness.

Since then, you and I would always be together. Days were filled with laughter and joy. We had it all and we were as happy as we could be, weaving every dream we had. Until that sad morning, a year after the moment we pledged our love, when a friend came rushing into my room, telling me that you had just had a traffic accident on your way to my boarding house. In a bitter voice, he said that you had been taken to the hospital. I was panicking and soon we hurried there on his motorcycle.

I was more than shocked to see you lying motionless on the bed in the hospital. It was a sight that I had never expected to see. Those beautiful eyes of yours that I had always adored were now closed. Those young lips which used to paint your lovely smile now shut and looked cold. There were no signs of life. And from the sorry eyes of the nurses there, I knew what had happened. You had lost too much blood, and it was too late. You had gone away. And I stood there alone. Why did it have to end so soon? Why did you leave me, Rose? Those questions were ripping my brain. I felt my world was falling apart, and the earth beneath me felt shaking. Everything around me seemed moving. My blood stopped flowing. My mouth was bitter. Then, everything went dark.

Rose, it’s drizzling tonight, just like five years ago before you went away. Yes, five long and lonely years have passed aimlessly without you. And I’m here alone, drowned helplessly in my longing for you. The glittering needles of rain only spell out our memories, one by one. At one time, they witnessed our happiness. But now they seem unfriendly and dumb. The sky they are falling from is jet black and saddened. There is no more color there to paint and add to my horizon. They're all cold and empty without you.

Rose, five long years have passed, but every piece of your memory still remains deeply engraved at a hollow of my heart. Let them live there forever. If there’s a missing piece in me, only you can make it complete.

But Rose, where can I find you?

(by PI - for an everlasting "Flower", 18 years ago)